5 Proven Effective Methods to Navigate a Breakup

Personal Growth Free LibraryBreaking up is never easy. The emotional turbulence can leave you feeling lost, sad, and overwhelmed. I still remember nights that I cried to sleep and waking up with tears in my eyes.

Navigating through these feelings with compassion for yourself is crucial to healing and moving forward. Here are 5 ways to feel better!

1. Let It Out

First of all, allow yourself to feel. You may be jealous of that friend who had never cried or felt sad after the breakup. Your ex may be hanging out with bros on socials.

You may be wondering, is it normal to cry all night and not want to leave my bed in the morning?

Yes, it is. And in fact, you should be! It’s completely normal to feel sad, lost, and emotional after a breakup.

Suppressing your emotions will only prolong the healing process. Cry if you need to, talk to friends, and talk to a therapist online or in person. Writing down your thoughts is also a helpful method.

Letting out your emotions helps in processing the pain. Also, it is the very first step of the journey of healing!

2. Adjust Your Mindsets

1. Breaking Up = Letting the Right Person In

I know breaking up hurts at this very moment. However, you need to understand that the right person cannot come into your life until the wrong one has left. 

Is that some kind of magic? Maybe it is. But there is a reason behind it. 

Imagine if you are so hung up on the wrong person, that your mind is still all over this person after the breakup. For example, you constantly think about how amazing that person was (in your imagination), and what you could’ve done to “save” the relationship. 

Does that sound familiar? I’ve been there. And what was the result? 

Here is the result – even if your dream partner came along, you won’t be able to spot this person. Why? Because all your attention is wasted on the wrong person. Because you wouldn’t have the energy to nurture a new relationship with the new person. 

This breakup, painful as it may be, creates space for the right person who will truly value and appreciate you. It’s an opportunity for new beginnings and healthier relationships.

2. Avoid Self-Blame

Always Remember Your Worth is NOT Determined by External Validation.

After a breakup, the most important thing to remember is that your worth is not determined by external validation.

Let me put it this way – you don’t need to “earn” anyone’s love or validation. Period. You don’t need to look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, or have specific traits to be loved by someone. 

If your ex made you feel like you need to be a certain way to be loved, consider the breakup a blessing in disguise. You are inherently worthy of love, just as you are.

You Should Focus on Forgiving Yourself.

If your relationship didn’t end on good terms, it’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself. 

Thoughts like “If I had done this differently, we wouldn’t have broken up” are common. However, if you hold onto the “what-ifs” and keep blaming yourself endlessly, you will never heal or grow, because the first step of healing is having a proper closure. 

The simplest solution would be writing a letter (I’ve prepared this free workbook for you with the letter writing exercise and journaling prompts for letting go) to that person (but hey you don’t have to send it!), saying whatever you want to say to that person for one last time. 

In this way, you will give yourself a proper closure. In no time, you will be ready to embrace new opportunities for love!

3. Give a Holistic Assessment of the Relationship

1. 1. Assess Your Emotions Post-Breakup

How do you feel after the breakup? 

If you find yourself extremely heartbroken, crying every night, and unable to wake up in the morning, it might be a sign that this person was never the one for you. 

I know, breaking up hurts. However, the right person will never leave you feeling this devastated. If there were issues between you two, the right person would try to figure them out with you. 

Even if you two weren’t the right fit, a decent person wouldn’t leave you in a black hole after a breakup. 

2. 2. Were You Truly Happy?

You should reflect on whether you were genuinely happy and fulfilled in the relationship. 

Did it bring out the best in you, or did you constantly feel like something was missing? 

Did you always feel like you needed to change something to make your ex happy, while you didn’t want to do so from the deepest of your heart? 

Trust your intuition. 

3. 3. Consider the Non-Negotiables

Did you break up because of fundamental issues that couldn’t be resolved? These non-negotiables are crucial to recognize. 

It is important to spend some time with yourself and understand your non-negotiables, because it will help you avoid similar pitfalls in future relationships. 

4. Define Your Ideal Partner

Think about the traits and qualities you want in your next partner. What kind of person will complement your personality and values? 

Do you want a partner who is compassionate? Or do you prefer being knowledgeable over all other traits? Have a conversation with yourself and maybe write down a list of traits. 

However, remember, you should only put down something that truly matters to you. After you put down something on the list, ask yourself a second question – do I want this because I’ve seen other people having it, or do I genuinely want it?

This clarity will help you attract a partner who is a better fit for you. 

5. Reinvent In Yourself

1. 1. Identify Your Insecurities

Relationships act as mirrors, reflecting our insecurities and areas for growth. 

Do you find yourself attracted to a certain type of person over and over again, because they have something that you don’t have, or you were insecure about? 

For example, my friend Lilly was really insecure about her educational background. She kept being attracted to terrible guys who graduated from prestigious college, but couldn’t even respect her boundaries! 

Recognize these patterns and work on building those qualities within yourself before entering a new relationship. Or you will just repeat the same plot over and over again! 

2. 2. Reflect on Regrets

Do you have any regrets from your past relationship? Perhaps you wish you had prioritized yourself more, or maybe you regret not giving your partner the attention they needed. 

Identifying these regrets helps you understand what you need to change or improve in your next relationship.

Something I would like you to remember before you go… 

Navigating a breakup is a journey of self-discovery and healing. 

By allowing yourself to feel, adjusting your mindset, assessing your past relationship, and learning about yourself, you can move forward with greater clarity and readiness for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. 

Remember to be kind to yourself throughout this process. Healing takes time, and you deserve all the compassion and patience as you grow! 

Additional Resources 

1. 1. Talk to a therapist online: the Online-Therapy is a professional and affordable program that offers weekly therapy sections, worksheets, diary, activity plan and more.
   2. Get this free 5-Page workbook: The Secret of Healing and Letting Go.

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